This is the second installment of my introduction. It is best to start with a bite sized background followed by the shambles of my early dreams and the semi-realistic goals that emerged from them.
From captured pegasi to angels who lived in the clouds and partied on the sun, my first imaginings were rather pathetic. But the more I read (or was read to) the more they grew. My stories of being able to fly to the amazement of my classmates became stories nested in the worlds that were most near and dear to me. Some of the earliest worlds I visited were Narnia (C.S. Lewis) and Middle-Earth (J.R.R. Tolkien). It wasn’t until I started reading the Pern series by Anne McCaffery sometime later that my budding world of Idehol began to manifest. Though it didn’t have a name at the time. From there it simply continued to grow.
Growing up, I also loved to draw and this would sometimes lead to works inspired by my imaginings. Looking back though, there were very few of these and most were lost or toss aside due to embarrassment. I could draw but not always very well. Consequently, I decided that I should keep drawing only as a hobby. Then what would I do with my life? So far, all I did was dream.
In junior high, I suddenly had an urge to write. The result was a diary of bare bones stories that were only fragments of my imaginings. I simply could not capture them on the page. I carried this diary with me every day. Peers already laughed at me for carrying many textbooks between classes; it didn’t do me well to be carrying another on top of the whole stack. How foolish I must have looked. I simply thought I was being efficient by not having to make so many trips to the locker. My story diary was stolen ceaselessly until I couldn’t find it anymore. I never knew exactly who hid it, but perhaps it is well that it’s gone. Now, they are very, very old stories that barely build the foundation for a much greater world.
I was still hell bent on publishing a book by the time I was 18, some years after losing my story diary. Of course it never happened. I continued to read, draw and dream. I actually did very little writing. The farthest I got in high school was a handful of chapters inspired from a dream I had. The details of that dream are sketchy now; even so, their contents are for another time. I worked furiously on that handful of chapters and stopped on page 33. At that point I hated my creation and abandoned it. Consequently, I had nothing to show for myself by the time I graduated.
There was one other influence to my imaginings: video games. The first games I played were largely on the Super Nintendo (SNES). (Technically the first game I played was Mario Brothers 2 for the Nintendo (NES) at my friend’s house.) Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past was the first game to truly inspire me. After that I was hooked to action-adventure games and later role-playing games (RPGs) after playing Chrono Trigger. That was the best $80 dollars my daddy ever spent! RPGs attracted me the most due to long and detailed plotlines. I am always drawn to a good story; it’s just my thing. Long after my two older sisters stopped playing on the SNES, my brother and I continued to vie for it for years to come.
In time, I had my own job and started plotting what to do with my earnings. I remember my jaw dropping upon seeing a commercial for Final Fantasy 7. Many things struck in that moment. THERE ARE SEVEN! I had played what I believed to be Final Fantasy 3 and later learned it was actually the sixth in the series. My other thought was that I never remembered seeing a commercial on the TV for video games. I was so excited that I went to Electronics Boutique (my idea of heaven) to buy it. I got it before buying the Playstation I needed to play it on.
I recall the first time I saw a game for the Playstation on display. It was a demo for Legend of Legaia. I started playing and was blown away by the graphics. 3D! Real 3D! Not some top down view like in the early Zelda games. It was during a cut scene when my heart truly leapt; I have never felt elation like that in a game since then. It was not the game itself that touched me but the elation of playing in a three dimensional world. Those were good times.
It was in those days I started dreaming of making my own games. It was not until college that these dreams became serious. Many people who play awesome games (or likewise crappy ones) dream of making their own. Mine were just as foolish. I had very little to offer in the way of developing one. I could write but had nothing to show for it. I could draw, but already chose that as a pastime. I could learn to code or design but was already on my way to graduating. I had no time left to switch majors even though I was ready to learn how to program. The result was a poor grade in Introduction to C and a BA in English.
I had failed dreams of publishing books, becoming an artist, and a video game developer. I had a degree with marginal avenues, a newly born child, and a husband in as much debt as I was. Stuck, stuck, stuck. For a year or two after graduating college, I still yearned to make games over anything else. I settled on finding a way in. It happened that I was much better off than I thought. Idehol had entered into its prime. My writing and critical thinking skills were polished thanks to my English degree. Lastly, I had discovered a back door into the industry. If I could prove my writing ability in some way, like writing for pen a paper games, I could find my way in with a bit of luck and networking.
I am currently in the developing phase of my universe, before I can actually to begin to write the kind of stuff that will sell. Furthermore, through world building and conlaging (which I will go over later) I am slowly adding details to Idehol to make it truly whole and concrete. With enough effort it will one day exist on paper and, then, maybe on your TV or computer screen. This time I won’t fail in reaching my goal because I have no choice but to succeed.
